


Line

by diaval



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Angst, Drama, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I'm traumatizing my child, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, someone save Lloyd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29588448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diaval/pseuds/diaval
Summary: It wasn't funny now, because up until this moment he had thought everything was his grandfather's sick humor. If not, then it was still his fault, since he decided to make someone like Lloyd the green ninja, correction, golden ninja.
Kudos: 17





	Line

The pathetic chosen one. Pathetic. This word only could describe everything the blond was feeling right now. Of course, what else is Lloyd going to do, except lie on his bed after another failure and paint patterns on the ceiling with the same pathetic golden eyes, thinking, thinking, and blaming himself. 

It wasn't funny now, because up until this moment he had thought everything was his grandfather's sick humor. If not, then it was still his fault, since he decided to make someone like Lloyd the green ninja, correction, golden ninja. 

His head, chest, body, heart, brain, everything was clouded with pain, for even his father could not pull him out of this endless cycle of self-destruction. This is his line, someone who will selflessly blame himself for the rest of his life, who will give himself for the world to the last drop, someone who does not care about himself as long as others are all right. As long as the others don't get hurt. 

They would come for him, sooner or later, he knew, even now he could feel the suffocating malice of a dark lord who had not gotten his way, who had lost his chance to exist, and could hear the phantom clang of weapons. His family won't be able to protect him for so long, this is why he have to act. 

He had everything he had ever dreamed of that he couldn't even imagine at the time when he was living in a Darkleys. Family, love, warmth - forced him to live on, to go on, not to give up. These feelings and memories are enough for him, which he will store and scroll again and again as soon as he gets to the other world. He only needs to hope that the power will go with him, otherwise he will have to burn himself. No, he had to take it with him. No one will ever get the golden power. It will be absorbed into the earth along with his body and fly up into the sky along with his soul. The power so holy and beautiful, yet ugly at the same time. 

There will not be any peace as long as it exists in this world. 

He sat up in bed, squinting against the spasm, and got to his feet, not caring about his disheveled appearance and his hair sticking out of his eyes. The wooden floor creaked as he put his heel down on it, swaying slightly and holding on to his head, which was bursting with migraine, he reached the pedestal and squatted down beside it. He sat on the floor for a few minutes, staring blankly, thinking, thinking again, until he shook his head as if he remembered something and opened the door, pulling out an engraved knife. His father's gift. It had never been used, and it was immaculately sharp, with a gleaming silver blade and a handle studded with jades. Lloyd smiled wearily, his head tilted to the side, his lips parted. Then he stretched out his hand, rolling up the wide sleeve of his kimono, revealing a pale forearm.

it wasn't that he wanted to die a beautiful death, it was just that his brain couldn't think of any other way at the moment. Burn yourself alive sounded more efficiently and drown himself, but alas, no one would allow him to go beyond monastery. Everyone is too busy confronting the enemy to even suspect and will not appear in his chambers any time soon. With that thought in mind, he lifted the knife to his skin, pressing it down until the blood came out, and drew a deep, vertical line. He didn't have the strength to cry or scream, but only to bite his lip and lower his hand.

The more blood drained out, the more desperate his thoughts became. What if there was another way out? The faces of his family and friends flashed before his eyes in a mad whirl. His eyelids were getting heavier by the second, and it reminded him of that moment in the glass, where they wanted to deprive him of his powers. In an instant, he felt a cold fear and a shred of anger, but they were washed away by a wave of deadly calm, carrying his consciousness further and further away. 

"Ah, Lloyd, why did you do it?"

He was floating, his body was light as feather. White noise in his ears. He had never been so relaxed. Lloyd felt as if he were under the water, and the silence was really the sound of waves crashing against rocks. Someone stroked his hair, then his forehead, then his cheeks, and wherever those hot hands touched, warmth spread.

Opening his eyelids was too much effort, and when he succeeded, he let out a shuddering breath. Someone was talking, someone was arguing animatedly, someone's voice was trembling, and someone was laughing nervously, but Lloyd was too weak and disoriented to recognize the voices. He kept squinting, because his eyes were blurry. Fortunately, he was no longer cold thanks to the palm that intertwined with his fingers.

"I can handle it, he needs peace" said the voice above him, probably the one, which belonged to this warm person. "He isn't awake yet, I'll call when he is up" it answered to the much lighter concerned murmur, after that sounded footsteps and bang of the door. 

But, he had already put all the innermost things in a box in his mind and was ready to step away, for the good of Ninjago. Does that mean he needs to pull it all back out? Now that he's no longer in the astral, or wherever he was minutes ago, the weight of his previous anxiety came crushing down on him. His lips trembled, and when he recognized the figure next to him as oh, Kai, with a reassuring smile on his face and deep warm, home like brown eyes, that soon would be lifeless and bloody, he clutched at the front of his clothes.

"Why did you save me, now they will come, they are already, they will kill you, all of you" he said hoarsely, yanking fearfully the fabric, to which Kai frowned. "It's. It's my f-fault. I need to -" Lloyd tried to stand, but Kai tightened his grip on his hand, not letting and laying him back on the bed. 

"Never. Blame. Yourself" enunciating every word, uttered Kai, looking straight into the tearful eyes of Lloyd. "You don't have to be strong, Lloyd, you don't have to be a hero, don't you ever do this kind of foolish - " he cut himself in time, instead wrapping arms around trembling teen and releasing a sigh. 

Why doesn't he tell him off? After all, Kai always wanted to be a green ninja and considers it as a honour. Against his will, Lloyd feels at peace, gradually relaxing in his brother's arms. 

His father burst into the room, his face lit up with hope

"Lloyd, you can distribute your power to the ninja!"

**Author's Note:**

> A bit old but better late than never  
> Thank you for reading 💖


End file.
